How many times a week does your family eat dinner together? According to the latest study from the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA Columbia) the answer to this question may be directly related to the risk of your teen’s drinking, smoking, or using other drugs. More specifically, compared to teens having frequent family dinners (five to seven per week) those having infrequent family dinners (fewer than three such meals) are: More than two times as likely to use alcohol More than four times as likely to use tobacco Two and a half times as likely to use …

Imagine driving in a heavy rainstorm and seeing a sign that the road ahead is dangerously flooded. Would you heed the warning, turn around, and find another route? "Of course," you say. "Who wouldn't?" Sadly, this answer and your behavior are likely to be different if you have consumed a few drinks. Despite rationally knowing the potential consequences of ignoring the flood alert, you will probably continue driving forward at the same speed while mumbling that such signs always exaggerate conditions.  Perhaps soon you get stuck in high water, and a good samaritan is able to push your car to …

There is something magical about a bookstore. It doesn't matter if it is a mom-and-pop shop bulging with gently read volumes and located on a two-lane country highway or a large chain store featuring New York Times best-sellers in its window in the middle of a busy urban mall. It is irrelevant whether the proprietor gives a customer change from coins and bills secured in a worn cigar box or if employees use the latest technology at the checkout counter. Wherever it takes place, the experience of hands-on browsing in a bookstore is physically, emotionally, and spiritually transformational. It …

On December 17, 2003, Linda and Mark Surks' phone rang with the news every parent dreads. It was St. Michael's Medical Center, saying their 19-year-old son Jason had been brought into the emergency room very ill and that they needed to come immediately. When they arrived, the hospital staff had a grim update. Jason had passed away from an accidental overdose of the anti-anxiety drug Xanax, a medication his parents knew he had never been legally prescribed.  It has been eight years since that day and Linda's memory remains vivid.   "We drove to Newark in silence, each deep in our own thoughts …

Every traumatic event leaves an indelible scar on both the soul and psyche. We humans fear being caught off guard and hate the helpless feeling of not having prevented a damaging circumstance. This is true whether one is involved in a fender-bender, criminally assaulted, fired from a job, served with divorce papers, or rocked by an earthquake. When a sudden harmful event happens to an individual, it is normal to want to be better prepared for the next similar situation. We may buy a safer car, take karate lessons, choose self-employment, swear off marriage, or retro-fit our home with quake-…

Despite the gagging humidity and flood-making storms, August is my favorite month.  I am a shameless Little League World Series junkie, and ESPN fed my craving by televising all the playoff games that lead to a Little League champion being crowned in Williamsport, Pa. I'm stayed up later than normal and spent too many hours in front of my television, but it was totally worth it.  I'm watching baseball the way it should be played. Budding talent, focus and intensity, sportsmanship, and fun all rolled into a package not often seen in the major or minor leagues. This combination of factors …

As parents, we quickly learn that each of our children has a distinctive personality.   One may easily adapt to changing circumstances while another tests every limit and uses the word "no" long after the "terrible twos" are chronologically over. A third may be a ball of physical energy and constantly on the go, while his or her sibling prefers to read or play quietly. Some children are capable of a great deal of self-regulation with regard to school, home, and social tasks. They are able to easily decide on goals and select strategies for achieving them with a minimum of adult intervention. …

They say cats have nine lives. If so, Max is on his third. His first was spent roaming the streets outside of Princeton. Animal Control found him at an apartment complex foraging for food and took him to a local no-kill shelter when he was only twelve weeks. His next "life" lasted a full year and was spent in a cage with limited freedom to wander the small room that housed male cats. The shelter named him "Venice."   Max never forgot the outside world, and his favorite perching spot was atop the stacked cages where he could see the surrounding woods through a small window. He even managed to …

There is good news from Canada for parents of teens. Contrary to popular belief, a significant number of young people both value and incorporate parental values into decisions regarding sexual health issues.   A recent study revealed that nearly one of every two students ages 14 to 17 identified their parents as their most important role model in this area. The influence of friends came in second, and the power of celebrities was a distant third.  Too bad we parents aren't aware of this high regard!  Mothers who responded to the same survey seriously underestimated their own importance as …

Marijuana is one of the most commonly used illicit drugs in America and a prime candidate for legalization in the not-so-distant future.  Given these twin facts, it is not surprising that marijuana use is on the rise for teens and that they question the harmfulness of periodically smoking a joint. After all, they argue, it isn't like heroin or cocaine, where taking it once might kill me.  It is also understandable that many adults -- especially those who experimented with marijuana in their youth – feel uncomfortable discussing this drug with their child. My hope is that parents will use the …

How much do your sons, daughters, or grandchildren know about LSD?  If they are like the majority of 8th through 12thgraders, they will not be well informed about how this drug works. LSD has not been popular since the mid-1990s, and school prevention efforts have come to focus more on current drugs of choice, such as marijuana, alcohol, and cigarettes. This gap in awareness is in contrast to the knowledge of their grandparents.  Most senior citizens and baby boomers will remember the youth culture in the 1960s, with its high regard for tie-dyed clothing, strobe lights, and integration of LSD…

"There just isn't enough time in my day to get good grades, hold down my part-time job, play sports, and still stay connected to my friends. Most nights I only get four or five hours sleep. When exams come or I have to write a paper, I try to get by with energy drinks but sometimes I need something stronger. Luckily, I have friends who have access to legally prescribed amphetamines. I'd never be able to do it all without the pills."                      ~ Rob, age 16, honors student and baseball player. It's hard being an adolescent and young adult in 2011. Pressure to perform socially and …

Do you have a felt-tip marker, deodorant spray, air freshener, or container of paint thinner in your home? How about gasoline, glue, or hair spray? Do you use compressed air to clean your computer or spray your frying pan with oil before cooking? "Of course" is the usual reply. When used appropriately, these items allow us to accomplish a variety of routine daily tasks. Sadly, these inexpensive and readily obtainable items are also used by young teens to get high by "huffing." This practice involves the deliberate inhaling of chemical vapor products, such as those listed above, in order to …

"E" is back in the news. That's Ecstasy, the 1990s club-drug favorite associated with all-night dances, or "raves." After a decline in popularity, it has once again become increasingly fashionable with teens. The percentage of eighth-grade students across the country saying they used Ecstasy at least once in the past year increased from 1.3 percent to 2.4 percent from 2009 to 2010. Past-year use for their 10th-grade peers increased from 3.7 percent to 4.7 percent during that time.* There is no reason to suspect that these figures are significantly different in South Brunswick. As the use of …

Spring 2011 has been glorious. Clear, cool mornings, warm afternoons, and chilly nights have created early yellow flowers on tomato plants, and most lawns have already been cut four or five times. In a few weeks, local schools will release students for summer vacation. While some teens will head for camp or to a job, all will have an increased amount of free time to spend with friends. Ideally, during this period new skills will be learned, healthy relationships will be forged, and lasting memories will be created. For some teens, this increase in unstructured and unsupervised time will not …

I lost my oldest friend Michael recently, and life has not been the same. At age 68, I am learning firsthand the enormous emotional impact of loss for older folks. When I was younger I knew when people, places, and things reached their expiration date, that I still had time to find substitutes. Today, I realize this is no longer true. The friendships I am losing have taken decades to mature. Petty quarrels have been worked out and personal limitations accepted. We have respect for the journey each of us has taken and how strong life has made us. We can say anything to each other. In short, …

The last thing I ever thought I would be doing is writing a column defending the McDonald’s Corporation's right to market junk food to children. But the recent open letter to McDonald’s CEO Jim Skinner, which was signed by more than 550 health professionals and organizations, leaves me no other choice. While this group correctly identifies the seriousness of childhood obesity, it incorrectly identifies the party/parties responsible for this epidemic and, in the process, over-simplifies the solution.  The Letter Written by the nonprofit group Corporate Accountability International, the letter …

It's no secret that Mother Nature has been creating extreme weather challenges around the world. The most recent event – tornadoes that ripped through six southern states and killed at least 343 people – was the second-deadliest, single-day tornado episode in United States history.  The aftermath of these storms in the South is mind-boggling.  Not only were there more than $2 million in insured property losses and widespread power outages, but emergency resources such as Red Cross shelters and fire trucks were destroyed. On a psychological level, the traumatic effect of such rapid and …

Every home should have a window overlooking a spot where birds and squirrels gather to feed. Mine does, and for years I have been putting out black-oil sunflower, millet, thistle and other seed in feeders and sprinkled on the ground. This small investment treats me to a relaxing experience that never ceases to delight. Right now, the late afternoon sun spotlights a pudgy baby squirrel who is sitting upright, digging for sunflower seeds and deftly using both paws to open each shell. I feel guilty that some of his girth is due to the frequency with which he visits my yard! A Lesson in Trust He …

We all have attended parties at which people drink too much alcohol. Some become happy drunks and laugh or tell funny stories. Others get weepy and dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. At least one angry drunk is likely to pick a fight in order to have a loud verbal or physical confrontation.  Rounding out the quartet – and often sitting alone in a corner -- is the silent drunk who knocks back beer, wine, or hard liquor until he or she throws up, passes out or departs. It is fairly easy to identify and interact with a party drunk. The situation itself is superficial and temporary and the …