The Face of Need in East Brunswick

Sometimes the smallest decisions are the most difficult, especially when it is a choice between feeding your children and buying gas to get to one of your two jobs.

“It’s between gas and food,” said one East Brunswick mother of four. “You have to feed the kids, but what good does food do if you can’t get to work tomorrow?”

This single mom is one of many clients who have been making ends meet with help from the Township Department of Community Affairs food program. The department provides groceries, gift cards and even clothes to township families in need, sometimes giving them just enough to help them make it to the end of the month, or just enough to make the decision between gas and food a little easier.

“She reads my mind,” said the woman, who asked that she not be identified. “There’ll be days when you go to the mail box, and you always get bills, and then one day there’s a gift card there from her, and she saved us for the next few days.”

The “her” she is referring to is Karen Kesckes, director of the Department of Community Services.  Kesckes organizes the drive, works with clients with their needs, and even forms friendships and bonds with them.

“Without her emailing me, sending me the (gift) cards…I don’t know how I’d do it without her,” said the client. “Every holiday, she always helped. Always. She always kept me in her thoughts, she knows what everybody likes to eat.”

The department provides food for about a dozen families every month. During this holiday season, that department is helping 170 families, and when the number exceeds the resources, individuals and families are referred to the Aldersgate Crisis Room on Ryders Lane.

Most of the families and individuals that get help are just like everyone else. Some are working one or more jobs, some are working but “underpaid,” while others may have hit a rough patch because of medical bills, a divorce, or some other event. Many of the children of these families go to the same schools as everyone else and are probably friends with students who have never gone without.

This mother of four has two children who are out of school, one elementary school student, and one 5-year-old that must spend time in daycare because of the school district’s half-day kindergarten program. The expense of daycare certainly doesn’t help, and is one reason she has to work two jobs.

“I'm working two jobs and it’s not good enough,” she said. “My second job to pay for the daycare for the baby, and the daycare would allow me to work the day job. The day job is where the money comes from. Where do you go after you work two jobs, you can’t squeeze in three?”

Then, there is need to give both school kids lunch every day. She says she is not part of the free lunch program, and much of her budget must go to juice boxes and easy to make and easy to eat lunches. Fortunately, her monthly allotment of groceries often includes those types of items.

“It’s helpful, especially now that school lunches are high in price. They want almost $4 for school lunch,” said the client.

But getting help doesn’t’ always alleviate the need to make hard decisions. Sometimes that  means juggling expenses by paying one bill over another, or paying all the bills and skimping on food. Unfortunately, food is the one place that allows the most flexibility.

“There’s been times when I pay one bill and sacrifice another and the following month do the reverse, and when it hits those times, when all those things are due at once, you have to skimp a little,” she said. “Sometimes I’ll have to pay his daycare, and that’s enough. They’re not flexible, at least when you’re at the food store you can be flexible. You can  choose what you buy. It can be just bread, milk and eggs only.”

Pasta and noodle-soups are a big part of the client’s household pantry, mostly because they are cheap and easy, but when she happens to get a gift card from the Community Services Department, it might maybe some meat for the family.

For all the help she and her family have received, from the days when she had three kids in school and one in full-time day care, to now, with two in school, this East Brunswick client  says she is eternally grateful, and that knowing people like Kecskes has made life better.

“She’s great. I’m telling you, I always say, ‘you’re giving me child support,’ ” she said. “She’s a good lady. She does her job well. I don’t know what her plans for the future are, but I know it will be different when she’s gone. Who ever takes her place, I don’t know if you can teach somebody compassion, but I hope they have it, because she’s really good.”

Donations to the township food drive and Holiday Gift Basket Drive can be hand-delivered or sent via mail to , 350 Dunhams Corner Road, East Brunswick, N.J., 08816. Donations can be given on someone’s behalf, or anonymously. For more information call 732-390-6797.